a panic attack ended my relationship?
i was involved with a girl and i had deep and strong feelings for her. whenever id think of her, i would smile and be very happy.
one day i simply ‘thought’ of her and out of nowhere i had a bad panic attack.
after that panic attack, it caused confusions about my feelings towards this girl and whenever id think of her, id feel very very anxious.
id have days where id be convinced that i have strong feelings for her and id have other days where id feel nothing for her.
i care for her so much and i adore her in every way possible and i still want to be with her, but now, i dont have feelings for her at all? it makes no sense.
that panic attack did SOMETHING to my emotions towards this girl. i thought i was suffering from an anxiety disorder, but now that ive ended the relationship, i feel anxiety free.
this has happened to me twice and it has cost me two relationships with two different girls. it cant happen again.. please help!!
I know how this feels, I’ve been there myself. It was the same thing, where everything was fine and suddenly ONE thought sent me into a whirlwind of wondering and anxiety.
MAYBE you’re gut is telling you something, but if you feel like you have a problem with anxiety, its very likely the cause as well.
Do you feel like you would still like to be with her? Basically I mean, do you feel like the anxiety is gone because you’re happy the relationship is over, or is the anxiety gone because the issue is gone?
It sounds like you probably do have a fear of commitment, but its usually caused by something. If you think its serious enough that its keeping you from having a productive relationship, I’d talk to a therapist about it. They can help you figure out why you feel that way. If you’re still not sure what made you feel this way, try a pro’s and con’s list. Make yourself be honest and you might be able to figure out what it was about her that made you feel like this if there was really a problem.
But from experience, I think there’s a difference between knowing you don’t feel the same about someone anymore and wanting to move on, and having anxiety telling you ‘should I stay or should I go’, you know?
A lot of people will tell you ‘when you know, you know’ and for someone with an anxiety problem, thats not necessarily true. Instead of relying on your instinct you’ll forever second guess yourself, hence causing you to end your relationships because you’re not sure if you’re sure. Its a horrible circle, but there are professionals who understand completely, and can get you out of the cycle.
Comments
Comment from Elly
Time January 17, 2010 at 11:02 am
If your panic attacks are changing your emotions,
you should go to the doctors and see what’s going on.
Maybe it helped you realize it wasnt going to work.
im sorry that this keeps happening, like i said go to the doctors
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Comment from hotbutter
Time January 17, 2010 at 11:36 am
it is called commitmentphobia. seek help
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Comment from Jess
Time January 17, 2010 at 11:42 am
bottom line- you have to see a therapist. It’s clearly something to do with the fear of commiting since you say this girl is great and you really like her. I suffer from panic attacks, and they can certainly be later linked with what was around you during the panic attack, or what you THINK brought it on. It’s possible that the first girl made you anxious and now everytime you feel something for a girl you get a panic attack.
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Comment from JM
Time January 17, 2010 at 12:02 pm
I know how this feels, I’ve been there myself. It was the same thing, where everything was fine and suddenly ONE thought sent me into a whirlwind of wondering and anxiety.
MAYBE you’re gut is telling you something, but if you feel like you have a problem with anxiety, its very likely the cause as well.
Do you feel like you would still like to be with her? Basically I mean, do you feel like the anxiety is gone because you’re happy the relationship is over, or is the anxiety gone because the issue is gone?
It sounds like you probably do have a fear of commitment, but its usually caused by something. If you think its serious enough that its keeping you from having a productive relationship, I’d talk to a therapist about it. They can help you figure out why you feel that way. If you’re still not sure what made you feel this way, try a pro’s and con’s list. Make yourself be honest and you might be able to figure out what it was about her that made you feel like this if there was really a problem.
But from experience, I think there’s a difference between knowing you don’t feel the same about someone anymore and wanting to move on, and having anxiety telling you ‘should I stay or should I go’, you know?
A lot of people will tell you ‘when you know, you know’ and for someone with an anxiety problem, thats not necessarily true. Instead of relying on your instinct you’ll forever second guess yourself, hence causing you to end your relationships because you’re not sure if you’re sure. Its a horrible circle, but there are professionals who understand completely, and can get you out of the cycle.
References :
Personal experience
Comment from Beth M
Time January 17, 2010 at 10:45 am
You have a fear of commitment.
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