Avoidant Personality Disorder Self-Diagnosis?
Friday, February 12th, 2010I feel like I am going crazy basically. I graduated high school about two years ago. High school was not like the typical experience for me, I really didn’t have any friends and it was very hard for me to socialize and find a place were I "fit", I didn’t even go to my own prom or even grad night. Most definitely a loner. I did however study hard…my dream was to go away to college and start a new life. I did get accepted to a school about two hours away from home however my family couldn’t afford to give me a true college experience so I had to live with my 50 year old aunt. Needless to say it wasn’t my idea of fun. Living off campus, not having a job or car and on top of that, realizing that I had anxiety and panic attacks only led me back to my loner mode. Spending so many weekends at home or within the library made me feel extremely depressed and isolated. During a fight with my aunt (which led to me eventually returning home) she informed me that my family believed I was lesbian because I was 19 at the time and had not dated and that I was weird because I was so into academics and nothing else. Upon returning home I went through even more depression. I had no job and felt as though I couldn’t return to my high school job and learned that I would finish up at a community college. My emptiness and isolation advanced to the point to where I suffered a semi-nervouse breakdown. A week in which I lost 7 pounds and threatened to kill myself with sleeping pills. That happened about two months ago. I have gotten a little better now that I am in school but still feel depressed and alone on a daily basis. I would love to date but my over protective parents have always tended to play too large a role in any type of relationship which would make it very uncomfortable. So basically on the days that I don’t go to class I mostly sit at home and either cry or remain on the verge of tears everyday due to how alone I feel. I am currently on no meds and have yet to go to treatment but by doing internet research I have concluded that I have Avoidant Personality Disorder. Does anyone who feel this way approve of my diagnosis, what should I do?
You’re complex. I think that you got that right, your parents are over-protective and definitely play a role in your issues. But guess what, they don’t have to live your life…you do. So if I were you, I’d start trying to make the best of it and live life to the fullest. You also can’t buy time, that is something I learned the hard way. Noone is going to take you by the hand and change you and your life situation. You are going to have to get going and do something about it for yourself. It doesn’t really mean that you are the bad guy for not having a great social life in high school, alot of creepy people go to high school, and not everyone finds the kind of people who are their type in school. But that is all behind you and you have got to get a hold of your issues before you find yourself an old person without having had a life. And then you can really get mad at yourself and your family. I think it all stems from a fear. You seem to be afraid of taking a chance, maybe you’re afraid of failing and that your parents won’t accept you. But as you say, they already think you’re wierd, so what have you got to lose? The strongest people in my opinion, don’t care what other peole think of them. They just do what they have to do to keep themselves happy. And that’s what I suggest you do. Try this exercise that we had given to us while making a class trip to Montreal. Go out and do something that you’ve always thought of doing but never really had the guts to try. Like walking up to someone and asking them if you can ride on the back of their motorcycle, Or anything out of the ordinary that you wouldn’t have tried. Make a concerted effort to do some scary things and lose the inhibitiions which hold you down.
I also think you would do well to find a really good therapist to help you work out some of your issues. Be good to yourself and get motivated to change.