Over the past 2 years, I have started to have the symptoms of an anxiety disorder. I am always worried about my health, and worried about worrying about my health (It is very confusing, but aren’t all cyclical thought processes?). Until now its been mostly under control without therapy or meds, I’ve had a panic attack every once in a while, but nothing serious, and nothing that interfered with everyday life.
In the past week or so my anxiety has been getting much worse. I feel generally ill, I can’t get my mind off of the fear of being ill, and I can’t sleep more than 3 hours at a time without waking up fully. My dreams have been erratic and disturbing, and I have a panic attack almost every time I wake up at night.
I have not been able to eat a full meal, or sleep through an entire night for 5 days straight, and over the past month or so I have lost almost 15 pounds – and not because I was trying. Come to think of it, all I had to eat yesterday was a single package of ramen.
I am getting very frustrated with this, because I can see my anxiety beginning to take over my life and I don’t know what to do.
I have no job or health insurance, what can I do?
I understand because I have a tendency to worry about my health too. Even though I am in relatively good health, I always seem to have fears that try to cripple me. Sometimes, I am scared to go out to eat because I am afraid I might get nauseated or throw up. I never do, but I just get all worked up for no reason.
I talked to a psychologist once and she said that sometimes you gain fears from your childhood. The fear of getting sick usually develops around age seven or eight. Maybe you had some sickness or trauma around that time or saw someone with health issues???
Nonetheless, I will tell you that medication does not help this cyclical type of thinking/mindset. It is a bad habit that has to be broken. It will not happen overnight, but if you stick with it, you will get better. I do not know your religious background, but I beat my anxiety with the Word of God. (Holy Bible)
Anytime I would sense myself thinking negatively, I would quote a scripture, "God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a SOUND MIND." Shift your thoughts onto something pleasant or something that makes you laugh or smile.
Even though you feel you can’t, you CAN control your thoughts. However, it will be a constant battle at first… nevertheless, it will be worth it to break this cycle.
Best wishes to you and may God bless.