My Panic Attack Solution

In this past month or something ( I’m not really counting), I feel more down and sad. I cry a lot. I feel like I’m worthless and I also have a "F’uck it" attitude. Like I don’t give a crap about anything, that I should be caring about. Some of the activities that I used to do, I don’t see the point in doing it anymore. Such as skating, I used to love skating, but I quit, because, what is that point. That goes for drumming and going out with parents. I feel like a sponge, I’m vibrant on the outside, but I soak in all the bad things ( I hide my emotions), then at the end I let it all out. Im sorry this is long, but I’m being honest with EVERYTHING. I DO have suicide thoughts like last night, I was crying and all about everything. I feel like my parents don’t like me, they’re judging me. If I would just die, I wouldn’t have to worry about anything, everything would be peaceful. I don’t have to worry about grades,( which Im doing poorly at), relationships, problems, stress. I DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING WHEN I’M DEAD. That’s my opinion.I’m not a optimist, I don’t see the good in anything anymore. What’s the point? Even if I do see the bright of things, are they going to happen? No.
I’m scared of the future. The last "depression moment" I had was last night. I just broke up with my boyfriend, we’ll see how this will affect me. Not so good I think. I used to have panic attacks about a year ago, in late december. I still have chills when people walk behind me and all, and I still feel anxious, like going to a place to meet someone or something.
Oh and did I mention I was a teenager, but I don’t think it’s just the "blues". Do you?
Im lost.
And broken

I know how u feel, and i had thoughts of just leaving this world too, but have u ever thought that u were LUCKY 2 b human?!?!? You could’ve been a pgi, dog, cat, sheep, but u weren’t. Trust me, ur parent do give a damn bout u, u may not know it, but everytime they yell at u for ur grade (if u have bad grades) they care about u having a better future then them. They don’t want u to suffer being a janitor or doing hard work for little money. And wen u die, all their hard work to raise u was pointless.
Also, being scared of the future is not just u. I am ALOT, i cry myself 2 sleep thinking bout it, but we have 2 face through it boldy! Do you want ur life 2 just go down the drain becasue u are scared or what happens next?? Make the MOST of ur life by creating everyday DIFFERENT! Boyfriends come and go, i had one too.Girls do not NEED a bf, girls are much more powerful then what they used 2 b, SO MAKE US PROUD! i knoe it takes a while 2 get back out there, but just have fun! u knoe the ppl that u don’t really approach 4 sum reason, approach them! talk 2 them! REMEMBER even if u make a fool or watever in font ppl say "WHO CARES" and laugh it off, u will die one day (NATURALLY) and wen u die, u shud never have the question of what if i did this or this. Because u know y? u shud have done everything u have wanted 2 do and had fun doin it too! Dying because u don’t want 2 face these things are stupid, because wen u face them, u become a stronger person, and wen ppl see u they can feel that kind of aura around u. Your life is a blank canvas WAITING 4 u 2 paint it colourful, don’t leave it blank =)