How do I stop my 11 year old son from torturing my husband?
My husband is an arachnophobia.
We have 6 kids and they all understand he can’t be around spiders. Our 11 year old, however, has recently decided its fun to get pictures out of his school science books, cut them out and stick them around where his dad can find them. I have tried to explain to him many times that its not funny and its upsetting his father to the point of panic attacks but he will not listen. I have taken away his allowance and his computer but it doesn’t work.
Can anyone help?
it doesn’t sound like he actually wants to hurt his father – most likely he just wants some attention, which I guess might easily happen with 6 children.
Many times children develop such habits in order to get attention, as the "you’re bad" or whatsoever talk is the only way for them to gain that attention they have to keep doing it. Find some way to engage with him, e.g. go somewhere for a short while with just him and not another child, or as he is targeting your husband maybe he is actually the one of whom he wants more attention.
Just, don’t punish him harshly for it, that will never help (as it is also a form of attention it might actually provoke the opposite)
Good luck.
Comments
Comment from O_o
Time January 19, 2010 at 12:35 am
it doesn’t sound like he actually wants to hurt his father – most likely he just wants some attention, which I guess might easily happen with 6 children.
Many times children develop such habits in order to get attention, as the "you’re bad" or whatsoever talk is the only way for them to gain that attention they have to keep doing it. Find some way to engage with him, e.g. go somewhere for a short while with just him and not another child, or as he is targeting your husband maybe he is actually the one of whom he wants more attention.
Just, don’t punish him harshly for it, that will never help (as it is also a form of attention it might actually provoke the opposite)
Good luck.
References :
studying psychology.
Comment from Brayden calls me mama!
Time January 19, 2010 at 1:01 am
He’s having fun honestly. I suggest counseling for you husband though.
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Comment from Mum of 3 Teens
Time January 19, 2010 at 1:50 am
I’m sorry but I find it hard to comprehend a child torturing their Parents about a Phobia. But then I have a mind numbing Phobia about mice & rats. Rationally I know that mice can’t hurt me & that they are more scared of me then I am of them & that Rats aren’t dangerous if you leave them alone & believe me I will! but if I even thought there was a mouse or god forbid a rat in my home I’d leave whether I’d seen it or not! & someone I trusted completely would have to prove without showing me a dead body that it was indeed gone The difference between my kids & your son is that my kids show respect & empathy to my fear You need to do whatever it takes to make your son understand that his Dad is not a wuss for being afraid of Spiders he can’t help it & tell him I said other Y/A users that have Phobia’s don’t find his antics amusing!!!
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my phobia!!
Comment from ProudMomof3
Time January 19, 2010 at 2:02 am
Try smacking him on the as$. That’s an attention getter.
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Spare the rod and you’ll spoil the child. Prov 13:24
Comment from ozboz48
Time January 19, 2010 at 2:44 am
There are two things to do:
One, your husband is going to have to be the one to discipline your child. Having a phobia is no reason to let one’s spouse handle discipline.
Second, and more important for your husband’s sake, get this phobia treated. It’s a simple thing and takes only a few sessions with a cognitive-behavioral therapist.
All the best.
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Comment from Horse Up
Time January 19, 2010 at 3:26 am
Are you serious? You can’t teach your 11 year old a lesson?
Your weak.
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Comment from Dianne D
Time January 19, 2010 at 3:45 am
I think that should be left up to the father of the house. Use tough love-he is at a good age for that. Take every pleasure he has out of his room. Don’t ever let a child 11 have that much power or you will regret it more and more every day.Take every pleasure he has out of his room-music. Don’t let him watch tv–no privledge until he learns he can’t ever treat anyone like that because he will only get worse. What will he do when he turns 13 or 14?? It could get dangerous since he likes the thrill. May be a good one for Dr Phil!
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Comment from az_mommma
Time January 19, 2010 at 12:12 am
Has your husband ever thought about therapy to help him get past his fear of spiders?
Sometimes no matter what you do kids just don’t get it! So why not have dad get some help and one up him by getting past his fear?
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