I need help, I have social anxiety/social phobia?
Please read, I need someone to listen.
I am fourteen years old and I have had this since I was five. I remember Kindergarten being terrible I’d go to the bathroom and just cry. It got so bad I had to be taken out of school for over three months in the first grade. I got on Paxil and I have always been little but Paxil made me gain so much weight and I wanted to get off of it in 6th grade because I was being teased about my weight,So the doctors took me off of it and I was doing good for a while and I had lost all the weight that I had gained and I was doing good with my S.A.D as well until my dad walked out when I was 12. I completely threw me for a loop and my social anxiety,social phobia,& panic attacks have came back worse than ever. I am on Zoloft now, I just got on it and I am so scared that there is no hope for me. I read blogs about people who are 40 years old and still have this problem and it discourages me. This is holding me back SO much. I used to have so many friends and now I only have have one best friend who I’m not completely terrified to talk to and even she can’ understand this even if she tries. I don’t go to school anymore,I’m home schooled. I started that in the 7th grade because I tried to go to school the 1st day of 7th grade and completely freaked out,I got off the bus when I got home and just collapsed on the floor crying, I couldn’t believe it was back. My worst nightmare. I should be going out and having fun with my friends,people say these are the best years of your life and mine are passing me by. I have so much potential,I am smart and I want to do something with my life but I can’t. I cannot have a conversation with anyone outside of my family or my best friend without completely freezing up and not knowing what to say. I can’t make small talk and I won’t talk on the phone unless it’s with my best friend or my close family. I’m a pretty girl(& I’m not saying that bxc I think I’m hot shit) but I get asked out a lot and for once I would like to be able to say okay sure you’re cute let’s talk,let’s hang out and maybe if your a nice guy then I’ll be your girlfriend. I don’t know what to do anymore,what is the point of me being on this earth anymore & don’t get me wrong I would never do anything to harm myself but there has got to be more to my life than just letting it pass me by. I need to know that I’m not the only one out there that has this problem,I feel SO alone and scared. I’m just a kid and I need someone to make this better but no one can. I don’t know anyone who is going through this. Are their institutions that I can go to? I’m willing to try anything but I want to have a life,I want to chase my dreams & I can’t because this is holding me back. It is terrible knowing that I am capable of so much and the only person holding me back is myself. & if you read this,thanks. Sometimes knowing that your not alone and there are people out there that actually care is relieving . God Bless.
One word. Chill. I have general anxiety disorder and everytime i start to freak out just think "chill." I don’t know what your stance on drug use is but marijuana can help as long as the "set and setting" (google it if you don’t know what i mean) is right. Not trying to push drugs but it’s healthier then zoloft. On a side note just chill, don’t take life to seriously because if you do, you’ll miss out on alot
Comments
Comment from Steve
Time January 17, 2010 at 11:12 am
One word. Chill. I have general anxiety disorder and everytime i start to freak out just think "chill." I don’t know what your stance on drug use is but marijuana can help as long as the "set and setting" (google it if you don’t know what i mean) is right. Not trying to push drugs but it’s healthier then zoloft. On a side note just chill, don’t take life to seriously because if you do, you’ll miss out on alot
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diagnosed with general anxiety disorder 12 years ago
Comment from Ethan
Time January 17, 2010 at 11:51 am
i didnt read all your message but i have bdd/mdd/ptsd bdd is a type of social anxiety..the only thing i can say is that you will get over it when your ready to get over it..like if a girl was to approach me and want to be close with me i would push her away due to bdd/social anxiety because i am not ready or capable of a relationship atm.you wont get over it when you want to but when your ready a quote dr.jack moser uses which is my counseler/therapists btw 
.these are not the best years of your life like people say actually i think they are the most cruelest years of your life..you are going through alot of changes
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Comment from Astaroth Asmodai
Time January 17, 2010 at 12:16 pm
I’m the same way. I hold EVERYTHING back and I know I shouldn’t. I will be honest and frank with you. DO NOT take medication, that will make it worse. It’s allll in the mind. I had insomnia, major depression and ADHD. As soon as I turned 18 I decided not to let it ruin my life anymore….I was determined. YOU are in control of your mind. YOU be that determined. If you want to chase your dreams then hell, GO FOR IT….I’m rooting for you. I know that you’ll win this fight, so keep fighting. It will alll be worth it in the long run. I promise you that..
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Comment from Unassuming1
Time January 17, 2010 at 12:41 pm
What role do your parents play in helping you to get help for this? You desperately need therapy that’s targeted at anxiety and phobias. This is where your parents should be coming in and FINDING YOU HELP. Where are they?
What state are you in? There are resources you can go to for help. Look online. There are now many different treatments for anxiety/phobia disorders. Biofeedback, drugs, hypnosis, EMDR, cognitive-behavioral therapy, in vivo exposure therapy, etc. Find a therapist who specializes in these treatments. Seek help from more than one at a time, if you must.
Email me privately if you want. I’ll help you however i can…
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Comment from Lis
Time January 17, 2010 at 1:31 pm
First of all, you do look smart. I bet this is a compliment and a bad thing to say since you think that your potential is not being used.
Now I don’t really know how you feel exactly, but let me tell you something: I had OCD about your age, my family wasn’t very supportive because they didn’t know that such a disease existed, they even made fun of me until my mom’s friend helped me a little. It was so bad that I would take a shower for 3 hours and I’d do crazy stuff like shaking my head and hands so that germs would fly away, not to mention the mental sides of OCD such as doing things in a particular order and counting things. then, by the help of god then my strong well and intelligence, I focused and decided to end that misery.
Now I’m almost fully recovered, I’d say I’m 95% better than before without therapy or pills. First of all, you recognize that you have a problem and that people live normal lives and it’s about you really. you’re physically and mentally fine so there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t think of other human beings as something big cause they are NOT. Trust me, those cool kids at school have problems that you don’t know. Some Hollywood celebrities have problems worse than average people. Think, think and think. that’s the only advice I’m going to give you.
EDIT: Astaroth Asmodai, I agree with you with most of what you typed, do not rely on medication, your parents or therapy for what it matters. I mean therapy is good but trust me, you don’t need it.
EDIT: Kayle, you’re so negative. Look at your avatar, why is it sad? you’re making the same mistake that you made earlier, and now you think that you have come out of something that you wish you could go back in time to fix. Trust me if you could do such a thing you wouldn’t fix anything. Look at life differently.
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Comment from Ben
Time January 17, 2010 at 1:55 pm
OK; this is a lot to handle for you personally. You’ve been through a lot of tough situatons. I used to have SP; and counseling really helped me. I’ll bet that it could help you too!
Now that I’ve gone through all of this trouble answering your question, please answer mine!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091012202009AAYXzqK
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Comment from Kayley Angel
Time January 17, 2010 at 2:45 pm
I understand. I have what you have and its held me back for so many years that…now im alone. Its just how it is and theres no hope for me. But there is for you, hun. Youre young. Dont turn into a high school loser like me, the choices you make those critical years are the most important of all. If you dont save yourself soon, then all the peices are just going to fall out and youll become a shell. Sorry. I really do know how to help you and I PROMISE I will talk to you and help you get out of this, please, please e-mail me. It would mean the world to me and just might help you avoid becoming like me.
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Comment from xemilyx
Time January 17, 2010 at 3:17 pm
You are not alone. I have it really bad too. In pre- school they made me go for 2 years instead of one because I wasn’t ready socially to move on. I never wanted to go to kinder garden just from the fear of having to play with other kids. I cried to my mom everyday and told my teachers I was sick so I could leave. By 1st grade the put me on medication. I don’t remember what it was called, but it made me act weird and didn’t help the anxiety to much at all. They took me off of it and I got better until 7th grade. In 7th grade it slowly came back. For the most part I was ok but like little things like when in P.E we had to play with teams, I started getting really nervous and sick to my stomach. I had a good group of friends though. By 8th grade I was horrible. I had one or two friends and avoided any and all social activities. I feared going to french everyday because I knew i would have to speak in front of the class. I know what your saying by these are "supposed" to be the best years..sadly for me too, they are not. 9 th grade got a little better and I made one pretty good friend, who is my only true friend today. Sophomore year was not good for me at all. I still had my one friend, but I was getting pretty depressed from having to isolate myself socially just to be able to think clearly. That was the first time I ever spoke out about it. My mom took me to a counselor believing it was mild depression and I just needed to talk to someone. I didn’t like how it went though, so I just decided I’d have to deal on my own. I’m to shy to ask for medication. My dad was a huge social butterfly in his teen years and I’m a disappointment to him. I can’t go out and party or go to dances or to school functions. Its just to much. People at school just think I’m weird. Not cause how I look ( I am confident about my looks) I just cant bring myself to talk to someone who doesn’t make a huge effort to get me to talk to them. This year has gotten a little better. I have been in a few situations where I found myself panicking and close to a breakdown, but it seems a little better. Just have hope. I have hope that when I move away to college I can get a fresh start where no one knows me, Hold on, things can improve. that was my story and I thank you for sharing yours.
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Comment from Lauren
Time January 17, 2010 at 10:50 am
I used to have the same exact thing.
Zoloft has changed my life. I am in much greater spirits, and I’m able to see the best out of life. I think it will really help you a little bit.
And I understand. I had many, MANY social problems. It’s not something that’s just going to go away with time, (well it usually doesn’t.) I think Zoloft is going to do you wonders. If it doesn’t, then I don’t know what will.
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