My Panic Attack Solution

There are people from my past, that I no longer associate with, who represent numbers. I am super ultra paranoid about running into them or even seeing them with my eyes, because if I do, the only way to eradicate the problem is to commit suicide. Then my body disappears and and my soul travels back to the original source, where everything is energy. Then, in a different realm, I am amongst many, which changes the numbers, and neutralizes the issue. I am paranoid about seeing them, and I am equally as paranoid of hearing their voices. You see, I don’t know where they are. They could be anywhere. So, I can’t allow myself to see them or hear them. If I hear their voice with my ears, it is just as bad as seeing them. So, seeing one of these people with my eyes, or hearing them with my ears has to be totally avoided.

The only problem with the suicide is that I will have to reincarnate into another body and pick up where I left off. I believe that I am a divine spark of God, on a mission to master the three dimensional world of illusion. I’m think I’m an alien, though. I don’t belong in this dimension. I have to be careful on this planet, not to get absorbed with low vibrations which attract entities hovering over the lower astral field belt. Maybe thats what has happened to me. I have lost my way. Perhaps demons or earthbounds are destroying my life. Once upon a time, I had the potential to cast them out. But, I have not been very spiritual for a long time.

I suffer from severe anxiety all the time. I don’t feel safe. I feel vulnerable, intimidated, and nervous. I have poor motivation and social withdrawal. In public, I am compelled to think violent images and hear air raid sirens in my head. When alone, I talk to myself as if I were talking to another person. I just had an experience (what other people will call dreams). I’m not sure whether it was a dream or reality. I can’t tell if it was real or not. It felt like I was having a full body dystonia. It might be evil spirits interfering with my body. I feel like wearing women’s dresses and putting on make-up, and being chained up with hancuffes and shakles. I think about being creative and attaching objects to my clothes.

When I was about 10 years old, something inside my head told me I had to jump off a balcony. One day, I had an unexplainable horrific feeling come accross me, that if I didn’t get out of the public pools, that I was going to die or drown in the pool, or something like that.Another time, I had to kiss my little brother heaps of times or severe panic would surface. And another time, I kept lingering around the house instead of going to school, until my step-dad yelled at me. At this point in time, I was wearing jumpers in summer, and had alot of trouble adjusting to a new life up north. I was pretty much on my own, and did not get along with my step-dad, mother, or my brother. My life was fine up until I was 9. My parents split up, and my world was torn apart.

THE PRESENT: SEROQUEL: 1200MG
RISPERIDONE: 2MG
LITHIUM 450MG
LEXAPRO 30MG

At one stage, I was having violent impulses and suffering from chronic depression. Since I started taking Lithium and Lexapro, my depression has got a bit better and the impulses towards harming others has died down. It is early days, but I feel the Risperidone is helping a little. The Seroquel, however, does not seem to be sedating anymore- even when I’m taking up to 2000mg a day. In the past, I have had a few manic episodes (Due to Clomipramine), visual and auditory hallucinations (due to prescriptions drug abuse) and panic attacks, due to colossal mental torment.

What anti-depressants/anti-psychotics do you think will help me get better?

Please if you have ever done anything in your life to help yourself do this now go to the emergency room. You cannot continue to have these unwanted feelings they can help you in the emergency room. The medications that you are taking aren’t helping you. You sound like such a good person with such unwanted thoughts. There is help also there is a crisis line that is staffed with professionals who know how to help you the number is 1-800-273-talk. You seem to be suffering a psychosis, your mind is fooling you don’t believe what you are hearing in your head and either go to the er or talk to the professionals. What you are suffering has been in my family and my family member is well now without any of the voices. Please right now get help. You can’t take this by yourself. With Love I wish you the best! Different antidepressants and antipsychotics will help one person but not another. You have not yet found the right combination for you. Nobody can recommend what is good for you but a psyciatrist or the er.