My Panic Attack Solution

i am a 14 year old girl, i had a great life good friends and a massive dream. I was the smartest person in class, the quiet achiever. But about a month ago, i began to have negative thoughts.Like i had a thing with bad luck.

Then i really started to question my mind. Like i dont feel the same. I think about thoughts, nothing in particular just thoughts of what i should be thinking at this very moment. I keep going over and over it in my mind and it wont stop ;(

I really love life and it makes me burst into tears all day, because i am too afraid of my own mind. I never think of reality just this thought definition going on in my head, like how my thoughts flow and stuff and it agitates me. It feels like so long since i had a normal life. I am afraid of life, but i am so young i have so many things i want to accomplish, i want to be alive for my family and friends.

But no, i think it is my time to fly out of the nest i am on the verge of tears rite now, coz my life is over and i cant control my mind, i am afraid of it. I have forgotten how to think normal. I am damaging my organs and my brain. I feel sluggish all the time, headaches are normal to me now. I had a anxiety disorder, so i am stressed 24/7 My heart burns and i have panic attacks. Once i was lying awake at night and i felt like i couldn’t breathe, it was terrible i couldn’t sleep coz i had a fear of going to sleep and not breathing.

I was a fit person, now i feel depressed and can’t do anything. I feel so selfish coz i have a choice to live my life and some people don’t ;( i hate myself, i am a selfish person. I dont deserve life I am crying you can call me whatever, i dont care about reality anymore, i just want to be happy again i really do, but i am slipping away, slowly in pain. My brain is messed up, there is no future anymore. I might as well dig a hole and go lie in it

All my hard work, destroyed, gone forever
my love of life gone away, from a very selfish loser.

Do i need help?

you’re 14 right? ur body is going through changes that will mess you around (im talking mentally) everyone gets this but some people seem to get it worse. what i think you should do is find a way to relax. another thing i tell people that get anxiety attacks is JUST STOP THINKING! whatever you’re thnking about clearly isnt something worth thinking about if it makes you feel bad. perhaps you need to stop watching tv or something coz it sounds like ur afraid of things (like dying in ur sleep) that most probably will never happen to you… PS you can accomplish whatever you want, no matter what, so dont stress. your only 14 youve got AGES to work out what u wanna do.