Mess Phobia? Might seem like a PATHETIC question?
Im a teenage girl. (shock yes! i know you werent expecting a teenager to be asking this sort of question)
anyway….yeah, im a teenager and currently live with my mum and younger brother(12) and spend every fortnight with my dad and his new family.
my mum and brother who i live with the majority of the time are the most messiest people i know. there the sort of people to keep junk, clutter the house. leave stuff lying about and it EXTREMELY fustrates me.
i have arguments with them both over it all of the time.
ive cried several times because the house is a mess.
i’ve sometime told them to nip out and ive cleaned the house from top to toe, and they just mess it up again. i have panic attacks over mess! it doesnt seem right to me.
you may be thinking im a full on freak, and im sorry. but its a big problem.
i cant help but let it bother me. i sit staring at the mess and its so annoying. my mum likes to keep all old junk that people give her and place pathetic ornaments allover. and i know its her house. but its my house too isnt it?
i keep my room ridiculously clean. a little bit of mess on the floor HAS to be cleaned up or its FOREVER on my mind.
its just awkward cas i live with people who feel they would rather do what they want and not bother about there surroundings, i love my family too bits. but ive cried several times.
like for e.g. my brothers wii, ps2 is in the kitchen with a MASSIVE tv and he has loads of things for the wii which are left all over the kitchen. and hes wanting this rock band which has a massive drum set, which is gonna be kept in the kitchen?
IS IT JUST ME? OR IS THAT NOT RIGHT!
i might be being paranoid. but i just think its common sense that stuff like that should be put in a bedroom, and to say we dont exactly have the biggest kitchen.
mess everywhere and nomatter how much i reduce it, it goes back to its natural state.
its it just me being pathetic? problem? phobia? lol. PATHETIC question maybe, but a problem in my life.
any questions, queries. feel free to ask 
thanks
I dont think you have a phobia exactly but there is a bit of a problem. Being clean and tidy is ok, but crying over the mess is not normal. It is frustrating when your family dont seem to help out. But I think the problem is probably deeper than just tidy/untidy and it may help to talk to a counsellor or whoever, to try and get things a little more sorted in your mind. It doesnt mean youre crazy, just that your a teenager and its hard enough work growing up without any additional problems. But first try talking rather than arguing with your mum about the practicalities of 3 people in a house and keeping it tidy. Everyone (even your brother) needs to help out.
Comments
Comment from jeanimus
Time January 4, 2010 at 12:29 pm
I dont think you have a phobia exactly but there is a bit of a problem. Being clean and tidy is ok, but crying over the mess is not normal. It is frustrating when your family dont seem to help out. But I think the problem is probably deeper than just tidy/untidy and it may help to talk to a counsellor or whoever, to try and get things a little more sorted in your mind. It doesnt mean youre crazy, just that your a teenager and its hard enough work growing up without any additional problems. But first try talking rather than arguing with your mum about the practicalities of 3 people in a house and keeping it tidy. Everyone (even your brother) needs to help out.
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Comment from Pyar
Time January 4, 2010 at 1:19 pm
Sounds like OCD . I was going to say keep your own space clean and don’t bother with the rest of the house but you already Do that and it doesn’t help.
You are over reacting . You need psychiatric help.
Good Luck
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Comment from a_phantoms_rose
Time January 4, 2010 at 2:08 pm
I like things neat too. It used to drive me crazy that my sister was messy. I still like neat, but after my brother died, I have seen many things and I am no longer a "neatnick". My sister’s house is full of clutter and love. When I am there I focus on the love that she and her husband give to so many people. The love will last forever, the things will be gone one day.
I am not able to keep my house neat anymore like I used to. I try to let a lot of love live in my home. It’s the important thing. Love your family and see only the good in them.
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Comment from elaangel
Time January 4, 2010 at 2:55 pm
oh you poor girl, that really does sound extreme but if your mum is allowing this mess, it seems like its an uphill battle to try and organise it. Maybe try writing your thoughts on paper about how this is affecting you and see if it sinks in. Otherwise just look after your space in your room and try and not focus on the rest, make your room your haven but I have total empathy for you….all the best. In response to some of the answers, you are not the one who needs counselling, this situation would be frustrating for most people to deal with.
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experience
Comment from Nani
Time January 4, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Maybe you could call Dr. Phil or Oprah! One of them had a family on like that and had specialists come in and sort out and clean and get professional help (psych help I mean.) It sounds like they have the problem and you are just affected by it. I don’t know how to help you because I was a messy teen and my mom was the clean freak. Maybe, on the other hand, your mom is just trying to make the best of having a teenage son who is in the band. We will put up with so much just to keep them off the streets. Yes, even having the drums in the kitchen. Raising teens on her own – may seem like nothing bothers her, but what if everything bothered her and she was screaming or drunk or high all the time. I’m sorry it’s so bad it’s making you cry, but there are really worse things. Keep up the good work on cleaning. At least that’s something you can do to help the situation in the meantime.
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Comment from Mmm Bop
Time January 4, 2010 at 11:54 am
I am slightly similar in that I can’t stand mess. It makes me depressed and makes my head too…busy. I get stressed out by it and absolutely hate clutter. But I grew up in a messy house and all of my family are slobs. So I am naturally messy…but then I am always cleaning. It is a vicious cycle…I don’t naturally put things away (haven’t been programmed to I guess) but because I leave things out I am always doing massive cleaning missions…all the time. But anyway, the moral is that I know how you feel. Try to keep your space as you like it and hang out in there. It is awfully hard when you are under someone elses roof so there isn’t a lot you can do unfortunately. Relish the day you move out!
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