WHATS WRONG WITH ME!!!!?
I think I have a problem.
Here are my symptons
Please please help me
heres how I feel…..
-Over emoitonal (eg, when someone says anythign nice to me I cry, also, I just cry for no reason at all, I dont even know why Im crying)
-Panic attacks and intense fear (I think I hear peple saying things…. and it reminds me of things I hate thiking about, like death… how we will all be gone one day…. I get relly panicked and cant breathe and throw up )
-sad all the time (Im never truly happy, I cant remember what it feels ike. I try and act happy at school and stuff, but sometimes I cant keep it up and end up just crying.)
-bleakness- everythign seems so bleak. whenever anyone suggests any plan, I always think it will go terribly my future is bleak, nothing good will happen. I ‘Live’ and then I die, theres nothig nuch inbetween.
-Inadequit and undeserving. whenever my parents buy me antyhign I end up crying because I feel so undeserving, I really dont deserve anything form the, I dont deserve anthing.feel so guilty,
- changing opinions. One minuit I love someone, the next I extremely hate them. like last monday, I was thinking about wanting to kill my parents, but the next day was sobbing n my bed at the thought of anything ever happening to them
-cutting….:(
-other forms of self harm… punching, biting, scratching, hair pulling
-Getting angry really quickly for no reason, like really intense anger. but I never take it out on others, only myself
-losing concentration really fast
-insomnia, and extreme tiredness all the time
paranoio – I think everyone hates me. when people are nice to me I think they’reonly doing it for a joke.
- Behavior changes – sometimes I am really loud and cant stop making noise and shoutng, other times I dont want to speak
-hate – I begin to hate people, even my friends for no reaosn. and I do destructive things, like destroy presents they made me
- energy – I am usually extremely tired and can barely funiton, but sometimes I get lots of energy for no reason.
- thinking the worst of every situation
- Feeling ugly all the time, and hating showing my face, especially eyes.
-Laughign at sick thinsg that I dont even find funny….eg, dead babies, other people in pain. I really dont think any of these are a laughing matter, but for me raosn I just… ik. I cant epxlain it. I think Im just twisted, I hate myself.
-GOREI love watching gore in fillms and stuff… and looking a pictures… seieng other people fele the same as I do makes me feel kinda better… like less alone
-Lonliness- I cant tell ANYONE how I fele. nobody likes me, even my friends think Im wierd. I have nobody to turn to. guys think Im ugly. theres just nobody.
I know youll say its just hormones, but I think its more.
It’s not hormones. You just know when there’s something wrong.
So, I did some research on personality disorders and such (I already knew quite a bit, but this time I specifically looked for your symptoms 
). Have you thought about Borderline Personality Disorder? It seems like that best fits what you’ve described. *Maybe* Bi-Polar? A couple of things from that disorder, might fit, too. Of course, you’ll be able to tell better than I can. People can have more than one disorder, too. And you don’t need to have everything that is listed as symptoms for a disorder; It’s just if you have the majority of symptoms listed. So, don’t freak out, if you see something you don’t like
Try looking at these, and see if they fit:
http://www.bpdworld.org/what-is-bpd/diagnostic-criteria
(very bottom of page there is also a link about cutting… might be helpful)
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/bpd.html
This is a page inside a BPD forum (which is a part of a mental health forum, with other categories). It talks about the differences between Borderline Personality Disorder and Bi-Polar Disorder.
http://www.psychforums.com/borderline-personality/topic13703.html
As for your laughing at "sick things" that you don’t find funny… I do that, too. When I find something really upsetting, I laugh. Someone dies, and I laugh. My nephew broke his collar bone, and I laughed. It sounds horrible, and I hate that I seem so cold-hearted, but I think it’s because I can’t handle being so upset, so my brain doesn’t exactly know how to react, so I laugh. Someone on Yahoo Answers asked about this, one time, and I think an answer said it’s a defense mechanism/something people do when they can’t express what they feel. You’re not twisted… don’t worry.
I also understand the feeling better, when watching people who feel the same way.
Could you get to a councilor or psychologist? That would probably be best. What about talking to someone online? I mean, don’t give them any info that could be used against you, but you come in "contact" with more people online, than you do in real life. You’re bound to find someone that you can talk to. The psychforums link I gave you, might be a good place to talk. Even if you don’t think you have borderline pd, there are tons of other sections in that website.
Good luck 
Comments
Comment from Dan Levin
Time January 15, 2010 at 2:47 pm
I think you need to get ahold of yourself and find some hobbies.
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Comment from Ann
Time January 15, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Trust me that isn’t just hormones. Sounds like you are suffering from depression and possibly anxiety. The two kind of go hand in hand. You need to get help for this. You don’t have to be feeling this way. Tell your parents. If you feel like you can’t say it to their face then write them a letter telling them about this. You need to see a therapist and maybe even get on some type of medication.
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Comment from PC Pumper
Time January 15, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Lack of self love. Love yourself and put your energies into giving of your unique talents to others
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Comment from Alena
Time January 15, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Alright Hunni !
Dont worry, this ia a depression and anxiety and stress, all the symptoms are very hard to cope with and i know its hard cuz i use-to be like this when my GAD (general anxiety disorder) started, i have been with GAD for 3 years now, after 5 months i was prescribed to take celexa (citalopram) which i quit 6 months ago because it helps at first and than makes you have very bad side effects as anger and hurting people for no apperent reason, so after i quit i waited for 2 months till my withdrawls go away, and than i bought "new roots chill pills" its a natural supplement that will boost ur immune system get rid of ur anxiety and get rid of stress and depression it helps and has no side effects what so ever unless u take prescription drugs than you should talk to ur doctor first.
anyway i suggest u try that supplement"chill pills (brand name-new roots)"
PS: talk to ur doctor and if he prescribes you any antidepressants dont take it it will make u worth after awhile, natural ways are better if the chill pills is not enough to make u better than also think about getting a psychologist
chill pills take about a week and a half to start working
be strong u can do it without drugs!!! =)
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Comment from purplehaze
Time January 15, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Wow that is a lot to deal with. Just guessing it sounds like depression, anxiety, and maybe bioplar. Your best bet is to talk to a psychiatrist. Maybe you have gotten into a rut from hating yourself because of how other people treat you. You could sit there and analyze yourself to death, but due to the extreme nature of your feelings you need professional help. You don’t want to lose it and kill yourself or a loved one. IF you are in school talk to your counsellor. You might try meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, aerobics, taking a walk, self hypnosis, herbal supplements, checking your diet, etc. But I don’t think it would be wise to deal with this by yourself. Try writing a list of the things you hate about yourself. Afte you do that try to figure out how you could solve that problem without hurting yourself or others in any way, whether physically or emotionally. I hope some of these ideas help, and I hope you have access to help. On top of everything just remember to breathe. You are not a freak and there are many people going through the same or similar symptoms as you. There really is light at the end of each tunnel you will go through. You own your mind it does not own you! IF its some kind of chemical imbalance the doctors can give you the meds to give you power over your mind again. You can always give religion a try. Prayer has helped many people. I am not a buddhist but, there basic beliefs I believe would be of interest to you, and may help you out. Some think of it as a religion and others a philosophy, or simply a way of life. You definately seem like you need some kind of understanding or purpose. It will ultimately be up to you as to how you handle this, but I have set before you multiple ideas and opinions to help you out. Good luck
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Personal opinion
Comment from peacelove
Time January 15, 2010 at 5:10 pm
You may find having a personal relationship with God helpful. God is our Creator, all-knowing, all-powerful, eternal, holy, love. God loves us and sent us His Son, Jesus Christ, so we can go to heaven if we know and follow Him. Forever means without end — time on and on without death. Forever is what happens after we die. Either we go to heaven and be with God forever, or we go to hell which is very bad and painful forever. The good people who are saved believers in Jesus Christ go to heaven. The bad people go to hell. We need to know and follow God in this world to get to heaven in the next world. Jesus Christ, God’s Son, is our bridge to God. Jesus died on the cross to cancel our sins. We need to accept Jesus into our life as our Lord and Savior forever to receive God’s blessing and forgiveness plus go to heaven to be with God forever after we die. This is about being a born-again Christian. Faith in God is a gift from God. You can pray for faith in God. Just speak out and ask God for the faith to believe in Him and to follow Him. Some people find faith in God when they realize the beauty in the world is made by God. Evolution can’t explain the world’s natural beauty, for example, the parks in the world, animals, flowers, peacocks, sunsets, butterflies, rainbows, etc. After you have your faith on, you can pray a sinner’s prayer to be a born-again Christian. This prayer is very important and should be said with a sincere heart and faith in God. This is the prayer: "Dear God, I know that I am a sinner and that Jesus Christ is the sacrifice for our sins. I have done the following sins (state these out) and I pray to discontinue these sins. I pray to receive Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior forever. In Jesus’ name, amen." You could find a Christian church and try it out. I’m Lutheran and I like the Baptist churches too. Some churches do a weekly Bible study group and these can be a fun way to make friends and learn about God’s will for your life. God bless.
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Comment from Christina
Time January 15, 2010 at 5:18 pm
It’s not hormones. You just know when there’s something wrong.
So, I did some research on personality disorders and such (I already knew quite a bit, but this time I specifically looked for your symptoms ). Have you thought about Borderline Personality Disorder? It seems like that best fits what you’ve described. *Maybe* Bi-Polar? A couple of things from that disorder, might fit, too. Of course, you’ll be able to tell better than I can. People can have more than one disorder, too. And you don’t need to have everything that is listed as symptoms for a disorder; It’s just if you have the majority of symptoms listed. So, don’t freak out, if you see something you don’t like
Try looking at these, and see if they fit:
http://www.bpdworld.org/what-is-bpd/diagnostic-criteria
(very bottom of page there is also a link about cutting… might be helpful)
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/bpd.html
This is a page inside a BPD forum (which is a part of a mental health forum, with other categories). It talks about the differences between Borderline Personality Disorder and Bi-Polar Disorder.
http://www.psychforums.com/borderline-personality/topic13703.html
As for your laughing at "sick things" that you don’t find funny… I do that, too. When I find something really upsetting, I laugh. Someone dies, and I laugh. My nephew broke his collar bone, and I laughed. It sounds horrible, and I hate that I seem so cold-hearted, but I think it’s because I can’t handle being so upset, so my brain doesn’t exactly know how to react, so I laugh. Someone on Yahoo Answers asked about this, one time, and I think an answer said it’s a defense mechanism/something people do when they can’t express what they feel. You’re not twisted… don’t worry.
I also understand the feeling better, when watching people who feel the same way.
Could you get to a councilor or psychologist? That would probably be best. What about talking to someone online? I mean, don’t give them any info that could be used against you, but you come in "contact" with more people online, than you do in real life. You’re bound to find someone that you can talk to. The psychforums link I gave you, might be a good place to talk. Even if you don’t think you have borderline pd, there are tons of other sections in that website.
Good luck
References :
Comment from cool person
Time January 15, 2010 at 2:30 pm
I agree it sound more than hormones. My suggestion is talk to your perants about making an appointment with a spychologist (therapist), if this is not an option, you can go to your school counseller. A trained proffesional will be able to help you figure out what is wrong, and decide on a treatment plan to make you feel better
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